By Rotem Ben-Layish
The Story Of Yair And Gilad – First Major Breakdown
This Scene is a small part of a novel that I'm continually writing. In this scene, Yair is having a breakdown while Gilad is coming to visit him. I will post some more scenes every now and than.
I’m exhausted from crying. I’m so hurt that I simply don’t know what to do with myself. I feel like I want to die! I’m not being understood. I’ve never been understood, and I’m frustrated. Never in my life there will be someone who manage to understand. I’m dizzy. I don’t recognize this feeling, and I don’t know how to cope, it’s a fracture. From this position, even if I’ll manage to somehow lift myself back up, coming from here, one simply does not continue to act the same way as he did before. Everything is about to change. I will not put up with this anymore.
I don’t tend to answer my phone when I’m upset, but it is suddenly ringing an I even can’t see who’s calling through all the tears. I’m answering fast before I’ll change my mind. Anything but staying with the dizziness and the despair is better.
It’s Gilad, and he is saying: “Open up, I’m at your door”.
I hung up and start to move across the room. Trying to gain some time. What a mistake, what was I thinking answering the call? I’m not built for guests right now. What a blunder. I was hoping It’s them, and that they are sorry and perhaps beg me to forgive them, but this is unexpected. Not at all. What am I to do?
Ok, It’s only Gilad. I’ve already shared a thing or two with him in the past. Maybe he can help.
I approach the door, open it and strait away turn and walk towards the bath room. “Come in!” I say.
I’m washing my face at the sink but suddenly the cry continues and I stare at the mirror and sub. It doesn’t look good. My eyes are extinguished and purple from a long crying session. In addition, I’m pale.
I release a roar and suddenly a great force is coming out of me and the sink detach from the wall and I toss it against the shower’s wall.
Gilad is bursting through the door. Like a tiger he immediately arrive, and his expression tells me he’s terrified.
“What’s with you? Are you Ok? What are you doing?”
I turn loose in an instant and slide down with my back against the wall into a sitting position. Swinging forward and backwards not crying anymore. Just a little shocked.
“Where did all this violence came from? What have I become? oops… Did I said it out loud?”
I raise my head up and meet Gilad. It seems like he’s smiling so I start to lough. The tension drops and he is laughing with me while banging his right leg against the floor, and swinging on the door handle.
I lay on my back and keep laughing. What an incredible moment.
Very interesting composition. It brought back some long forgotten childhood memories, when my sister and I used to have this thing called “Laughing – Crying” and only us two understood it. In a way, it’s a cosmic thing, that we can end with a laugh, after having a cry, that the emotions may be opposing, but are linked. Thanks for sharing your story, it’s a powerful medium yet done with simple moving lines.
Jain of Australia.
Thank you Jain